Paris Hilton in Africa

KIGALI - Rwanda - Paris Hilton arrived yesterday in her private jet on a humanitarian mission to acquire some wonderful souvenirs.

SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE WILDS OF AFRICA

Amongst a mass of Louis Vuitton luggage - our reporter counts 253 pieces - Paris Hilton's gesture to the porters to 'Hurry the f*ck up' is met with anguish as the malnourished poor fellows struggle in the 120 degree heat.

Paris Hilton, ex-convict, is in the wilds of deepest Africa souvenir hunting for her $8 million Beverly Hills house and is determined to find some memorable items for her mantlepiece.

Miss Hilton's luxury private jet which arrived on Wednesday was met by the Deputy Foreign Minister Dr Charles Murigande.Her entourage of 389 staff include masseuses, hairdressers, astrologers, beauticians, makeup artists, dietitians, and her own personal photographers and lackeys from TMZ.

The porn actress will be guarded by her own troupe of South African mercenaries as well as her newest toyboy acquisition Dolph from Sweden.

Food has been specially flown in and will include the choicest champagne and caviar, with only the best Foie Gras from France. Her private chefs will be preparing the finest cuisine for her five night stay.

Paris Hilton's private jet at Kigali International Airport all set to fly back to Los Angeles

Decked in indulgent couture and diamonds with 24 karat gold jewellery, Paris did not even know where Rwanda was until one of her assistants told her last week.

This is the farthest that Paris has ventured from Beverly Hills and she is excited about her 'humanitarian' role.

The people of Rwanda have suffered so much, and now their suffering has been compounded with the indignity of having this disgusting carious slag peer through her $4000 sunglasses at them.